I WAS AT ROCK BOTTOM.
When I lost my scholarship 2 years ago, everything, I mean EVERYTHING changed. I couldn't travel much anymore, couldn't buy my favourite chocolate cereal at Tesco's and a Nutella spread seemed more expensive than I remembered it to be. While my friends could afford the convenience of buying food at our usual "Happy Days"; fast food on campus, I insisted to open a jar of pasta sauce and cook my own food.
(The reason as to why I lost my scholarship has nothing to do with me failing my grades or misbehaving etc. To simplify it, I would probably just say I was a victim of the bad economy)
(The reason as to why I lost my scholarship has nothing to do with me failing my grades or misbehaving etc. To simplify it, I would probably just say I was a victim of the bad economy)
I cried almost everyday for 2 weeks in my room while my parents fight their way out of me losing my scholarship. Feeling too disappointed and frustrated with myself, I couldn't even bear asking them for money more than I had to. Luckily my dad left me with an emergency credit card just for me to afford my groceries but other than that, I had to find money on my own.
I remember sleeping at 12 AM cooking nasi lemak and waking up at 5AM frying the chicken to be packaged & sold off to my other uni mates. Baking cookies at 1AM in the kitchen because it was convenient to bake then since no one would be awake to use any of the ovens so I had access to all the ovens in the flat.
Back then in 2nd year, my parents paid for my accommodation still as I lost my scholarship too close to the datelines of my assignments to find a job, adapt to it etc.
Every time I swiped the credit card to buy groceries of 20-30 pounds, my heart broke. Just converting it and thinking how much I've spent in a month just on groceries, multiplying it by the months etc, swiping the credit card was never a "guilt free" moment for me; even when so many people have convinced me its my parents' responsibility to provide, I just couldn't....
Then, I was determined that on my 3rd year, I wanted to be financially independent.
Came back for 3rd year and the first thing I did on my first week of arrival was throwing my CVs to all restaurants nearby, applying for jobs online with the SU, Tesco was nearby too so that was an option of job I applied for as well even when the only position they offered was to arrange groceries after 12 midnight. All I could think of was the relief I'd feel just being financially stable again.
First job I got was a Student Ambassador which paid me pretty decent but the hours were not persistent so there could even be a week where I wouldn't get a job with them. Then after bugging Subway twice, I finally got hired as a part timer as a Sandwich Artist (wohooo, here begins my journey of making sandwiches for drunk customers and mixing tonnes of mayonnaise with tuna using gloves that were really impractical).
Two weeks later, while I was still struggling trying to wrap sandwiches, the manager of the Vietnamese Restaurant came in and said they were just about to call me to offer me a job as a waitress at their workplace. Not being able to deny the opportunity, I went there and tried out for the job. Having to tell them my situation of Visa having a maximum of 20 hours limit etc, they still insisted me to work with them but we had to find a way to work around the system...
Suddenly recalled those late night closing shifts where we had to carry trash from the whole day into big dumpsters, mop the floor only to annoyingly have other ignorant customers to cross the lines we put up and step on them, and ugh, the worst was cleaning the toilets.....
Two weeks later, while I was still struggling trying to wrap sandwiches, the manager of the Vietnamese Restaurant came in and said they were just about to call me to offer me a job as a waitress at their workplace. Not being able to deny the opportunity, I went there and tried out for the job. Having to tell them my situation of Visa having a maximum of 20 hours limit etc, they still insisted me to work with them but we had to find a way to work around the system...
Next thing I knew, there were Saturdays where I woke up for work at 6.30 AM and got home late at 12 AM. I remember having only 30 minutes break in between jobs just because of the journey from one job to another took some time. And since the restaurant was nearer to Subway, there were days that I quickly changed and ran for my shift at the restaurant after an 8 hour shift of serving sandwiches. Also, I got myself a 10 pounds bike from a carboot sale to get me from one job to the other quicker!
Alhamdulillah within time, I could afford to pay my own accommodation and had money aside to enjoy the little luxuries in a student life, like ordering take outs, going out for movies and having my trips to London again. Also, finally got enough money to get Ben & Jerry's in my hands again !
While many people asked me what inspired or motivated me, as much as I wish the answer to that is Steve Jobs or Jack Ma or Vivy Yusof etc, the simplest answer I provided to almost everyone was
"I WAS BROKE"
I know I know, you might say you could have always asked money from your parents or depended on them, but I just couldn't.
I didn't have much time for my friends neither did I have much time for myself. My meals were repetitive too,
"Tuna Subway Sandwich, Tuna Subway Salad, Vegetable Pho, Aubergine fried with Rice, Rice with Vegetable Curry" and as much as I would like to tell you there's more to the list, there isn't. Probably the only thing that is different is the salad/sauce I choose to put in my sandwich or the bread, and sometimes egg fried rice was an option for me at the Vietnamese Restaurant I worked at.
(Incase you were wondering, I didn't turn my diet to be a vegetarian diet... just that the places I worked at weren't serving Halal food so those were the only options left for me)
I reminisced that one day after a 16 hour shift, I got a call from my mum emphasizing how important my studies were and assured me that money is not an issue, that they as parents would be able to provide, and the hours I worked were unnecessary if it affects my degree. Little did they know, after the phone call on my journey back home from work, I poured waterfalls. I knew I put myself up for a challenge. I went through tonnes of coffees; stayed in computer labs, blasted piano pieces in my room while reading notes and catching up with datelines. The constant companion I had with me throughout 3rd year was the adrenaline rush just submitting my assignments and waiting for the results to be released.
Alhamdulillah (praise to Him; the best of planners), my parents and part of my family made their way all the way to the UK to witness my graduation day,
But when I look back today, everything I went through, was hella fun. And everything was worth it. Nevertheless, couldn't have done it without my parents, family and friends support. Everything was, worth it.
Though I'm not so sure today if I wanna go through all of that again..... it was definitely an experience.
