The Day We Bought More Than We Can Carry

So, as you can see, mum's finally here in my uni !

And I kinda gave her a rough start, literally haha. 

Anyways, since we're gonna be here for another 2 months or so, we decided to shop as much as we can for the 2 months straight away (Just cause I have exams coming up and I didn't want her to carry the heavy stuff alone, which was really not much of a point as you can see her lifting all the weight as well..... hehehe)

She told me to bring the grocery shopping trolley to Tesco's and I kept on insisting her I could carry all the stuff.... which we all know I can't but I just didn't want to bring the granny trolley around town before going Tesco ! You know.... the one that looks like this....,

We left for town before going to Tesco and FoodInc (where you get all them halal stuff at like a runcit store), and mum decided to look her best for our first day out in town together ! Wearing her new boots and all.... not knowing that she would regret her decision at the end of the day hahaha

As you'd expect, we got lost in town ! Not surprising eyy? Its cause I barely go to town...Also trying to secretly prove to my mum that I'm a good student who doesn't go out often, which we all know are liesssss !! Its just that I barely go to town, doesn't mean I don't go out ;)

So after making her walk around for hours, we went grocery shopping ! And I told her the list of food I was craving for which she would have to cook for, so imagine how much we bought..

We got ourselves some chicken, beef & minced meat, which wasn't so heavy....

Till we went Tesco and got ourselves some milk and wait for it,

5 kilo rice !!

Don't know how we ended up filling 2 huge grocery bags !! 

The worst part was the walk up the hill to my uni from the bus station....

Mum went like "I'm too dressed up for this ! Dah la dengan boots ! Go take the grocery trolley from one of your friends and come down again!"

And I insisted my mum that we could carry them up the hill... which we did ! With a lot of stops from laughing too much at each other carrying more weight than we actually could hahaahaa

After all the good laughs, and a 15 minute walk up the hill which usually takes me only 3 minutes, we made it !

Got ourselves lying flat on my bed after with a long nap right after that to reward ourselves for our unintended workout.... not forgetting the magnum we bought at tesco's !

Datelines, Datelines

*'We are the Champions' song cues in*

Yesssss ! I've submitted 2 assignments of my core modules today. It was the EU Law Assignment of 3,000 words due on the 8th of March and Company Law Assignment of 2,500 words due today; 10th of March. Finally, a little taste of freedom :)

I didn't do this assignment last minute though, I've started drafting in 2-3 weeks in the due date. But, restructuring and understanding the question again and again took forever. The worst part was knowing that there's still a lot of legal sources out there that I could've read and add into my essay. Which as you would've expected, I keep on adding points to my essay that I even exceeded the word count limit by 500 words ++

I thought if I didn't do last minute work, I might be able to get enough sleep, at least 4 hours, but I thought wrong !!

For the past 2 weeks, my sleeping schedule was literally a roller coaster ride. I had frequent naps in the day and stayed up all night till 5AM; essentially till I do my morning prayers. Then, I'll try to sleep before the sun comes up and get myself started for the day.... which was only a few hours of sleep really.

Spent my night completely awake 2 nights ago, and still woke up for my 9AM tutorial on the 8th after submitting the assignment *phew* (it was cause she's quite a firm tutor). I came unprepared, thinking someone might come with the answer the questions for me but apparently, NO ONE CAME ! So I had to be honest with the tutor that I came unprepared and she was totally cool with it. But she still insisted on me coming for another tutorial replacement next week, which is totally fine by me.

But last night though, was a mess! I had my nap in the evening from 3-5PM (Well, if you consider a nap as 2 hours sleep). And I stayed awake since then and till this exact moment I am writing this post, 1PM. Its cause I'm working and I had classes this morning that I'm still awake, although my mind and body isn't functioning well for human interaction.

Celebrated submitting 2 assignments that I was quite satisfied doing, with a bowl of ramen and an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory'!

Now, just gotta wait for my shift to end, and I can finally get the sleep I deserveeeee before I go to Tesco's. According to my calculation, I would've been awake for 23 hours if I manage to get my sleep at 3PM after work, whoaaaaaa. Never imagined a sleeping pattern or a busy schedule like this when I was in college. I thought SPM and A-Levels drained my sleep enough.

Oh ! Before I forget, this is my first time submitting 2 assignments back to back without coffee but all on healthy eating and endless cups of green tea :) (also, self-proclaimed mental strength hahaha)

How I wonder if there was any law student that made it through law school with enough sleep and without coffee though....

And after this long deserving nap, I gotta start prepping for my 6-minute speech for the Commercial Awareness Initiative Competition and a thousand words essay regarding the topic I'm planning to talk about. And no, I'm not even complaining cause I actually am excited (but also nervous).

Also, note that there might be a lot of grammar errors in this post because as you would expect, my brain isn't functioning as sufficient... sleep deprived.

Dad's Biggest Influence

They say,

Distance makes the heart ponder..... And it got to me, that

Maybe, my dad doesn't know how much he has influenced me.

My urge and drive for adventure came from him.

He was an avid traveller himself, travelled across Europe, even in the Yugoslavian countries during their post-war. He even lived in Tunisia for a couple of months and settled there once. And when I was 12, I came across a newspaper article that he was in, known for his travels. 

Even now at the age of 61, he still craves for an ultimate adventure. Two years ago, my mum and dad even went to Israel to check out how it was there. Also, last year, he joined me for a couple of dives while I was taking my diving license (and I gotta admit, I really appreciate it cause I knew the tank wasn't as easy for you to carry as how it was years ago).

And when in a crowd, he will be the one who makes everyone laugh. 

I wish my sense of humor came from him (although I didn't laugh most of the time cause we grew up with it), but he's usually everyone's favourite. Like a dinner table would be quite without him. And the family wouldn't be as spontaneous if it wasn't for him. He would randomly dance whenever he's around good music, even when the music came from a cetak rompak CD shop hahaha. 

His love for knowledge is what I adore most. 

At the age of 50, he went on to take his Masters in Environmental Engineering.

And when we ask him questions about the world's history and general knowledge, he'll answer as if he was a walking wikipedia. You will always find him watching some random documentaries or reading books. 

Although... he did admit that tricked us about a couple of facts when we were younger hehehehe. 

And even in his 60s, he has been holding and has held so many positions in so many clubs in Malaysia that I honestly can't even keep up with. From being a President for the Rotary Club, to being part of the committee of UEM and ENSEARCH (and yes pa, you can correct me if I'm wrong with listing any of your many achievements in life). And with all that, he still tries to be home for dinner with the family, have movie nights and supports us in our own pursues. Sometimes, he'll even cook for us breakfast or dinner too ! He'll try to get us together for prayers as well, whenever he can. And never fails to try to get us together especially for morning prayers. In other words, even with your busy schedule, you still make time for us :)

Oh, and he never spends unnecessarily, seriously.

He'll use his wallet until they're worn out. He'll use his phone until the digits can't be pressed anymore.

I can even remember the time we argued cause I wanted to eat out but you insisted on me cooking at home hahaha. There were times you even ended up cooking for us as well. 

And the coolest part? He plays so many instruments. Yes, dad's talented too. He plays the guitar, piano, even the trumpet ! (that we even have a jamming studio at home, which I reckon was due to my dad having had his 'band' days when he was a student in Tasmania)

Even this post doesn't justify, how amazing you are to me pa. There may be even a part 2,3,4,...etc post one day. But the most important part is that, I will always love you undeniably, pa (and will always try my best to make us argue less too hehehe)

The Right Weight

So, let's get straight to the point.

Since I've been studying in the UK, I've managed to gain atleast 7kgs. I have always been about 46-48kgs in KL but now its usually 53-55kgs. Which is great, really, cause I just looooooove food :)

But there's been a bit of dilemma recently, honestly. 

I don't quite these "love handles" and "bulging belly" I've gotten since the weight gain. Sometimes, you can even see it from the clothes I wear. Beyond that, consuming so much food drains out my energy, which slows me down on the days I have to be productive. 

So, I've switched to healthy good food and consuming moderately, which has been helping me with my blemishes and having more productive days. But it also means that my weight is now about 50-51kgs. Which is ideal but I'm afraid if I go below 50kgs again, cause then I wouldn't be able to donate blood, which is something that I'm trying to make as a routine every 3-4 months.

Don't get me wrong, I don't make a hug deal about trying to impress society about how I look or social pressure, its more about how I feel about myself, and I just really wanna be fit and clean (in and out) so yeah.

Guess I have to maintain or gain weight and work out more just to make sure these fats doesn't suddenly pop somewhere else, I hope. Hmmm. 

She's Finally Coming !

And, its official ! My mum's coming next year Spring for 2 months to the UK and she's probably gonna stay with me in my student accommodation. Pretty hard to believe eyy?

Yeah, I know. Most of you would think it's overwhelming. It's fine really. Most of the people I've told about my mum coming reacted the same way. I honestly just went like 'whoaaaa' really. Haha

My mum asked me though, 'Where am I going to say?'
And I didn't even hesitate to say, 'Stay with me !'

Then it came to me, like whoa, I'm gonna have parental guidance with me for 2 months in uni !
And she's gonna stay with me in my small single bed, sharing kitchen and toilets with 13 other of my flatmates ! That's pretty hard to take in ! Hahaha

Then it occurred to me, my mum's my girl bestfriend any girl could've asked for. She's always there. And I've had so many of my friends crashing in my room for the past year so I don't see a reason why not.

Plus, I wouldn't have to cook for 2 months ! And mum's finally getting the break of her life that she deserves ! Away from stress and commitments, just chilling in a different country over Spring, with no obligations (well, beyond cooking for me) hehehe

Well, I'm pretty excited now. It's something different which would be pretty cool :)

And my mum's a chilled mum so all is well ! It'll be a cool experience to have spontaneous travels with my mum around the UK as well anyways !

I guess a new experience awaits in a few months time, can't wait ! (a little mixed feelings now though haha)

And I definitely can't wait to see you soon ma :) *also to taste good home cooked food again* hehehehe

Hope Papa can make it here too ! *prays for papa to get more rezeki to come*

P/S - I might be a bit chubbier than you last saw me ma. But am working on that before you come and see me saying, 'Gemoknyaaaa anak mama sekarang!'

INTERVENTION

Aite guys, after contemplating for many months and procrastinating, I've decided that I shall go through an INTERVENTION !

No, I don't intend to change my wardrobe completely or change my personality as a whole and stuff. But its time ! That I'm 21 now and that I should try to be more 'on point' in life, perfecting what I can with no frets :)

But let's be honest, I should probably start with looking less selekeh when I go out to class first haha. Although, I will still go by my own principle on not wearing make up everyday to class to feel more secure or better off with myself. Not like I have anything against make ups but I just am trying not to depend on it to make myself feel good about myself. Oh ! And I still do enjoy my travels with a backpack rather than having a luggage just to carry more than one pair of shoes or too many clothes unnecessarily.

Well, I still haven't yet figured out completely on how much am I planning or willing to go through for this 'intervention' cause I'm pretty sure I still have my lazy days (which makes me wonder if celebrities or 'famous people' ever get lazy to dress up at all haha).

And I guess I'm not just referring to emphasizing more on appearances, but generally just 'embracing the good and leaving the bad' which has to start mostly with reducing the amount of 'lazy days' I excuse myself with weekly, and being more productive ! (Like jog more, read more, educate myself more and stuff...haha)

Okay, I think that's it, really. Less talk, more action ;)

A Beautiful Sunday Morning

Its rare that you get a sunny day in the UK especially when its approaching winter. But it was definitely a beautiful sunny Sunday ! I usually don't post much about how my day went but I guess its not such a bad idea once in a while ? :)

Anyways, the Malaysian Society organized a Traditional Games Day Out. The guys were playing galah panjang and baling selipar (although failed many times due to the utter windy weather!) and the girls as usual, ended up playing with the the Post Graduates' kids !

And I found the kid I loved layaning the most, Akhta ! He was going all imaginary with the creative games he invented just for us to play with which I find it to be super adorable. I just love kids who use their creativity to play games outside and interact rather than play their iPads in the sun.... hmmm. 

Anyways, they were selling roti jala and nasi lemak which were all so sedaaaaap! The wind actually smelled like Malaysia again hehehe. Then we took some good shots under the sun. Just had to post this picture with my Subang babe, Farah, since '09 though :)

It was definitely one of the best Sunday mornings I've ever had since I've been here. A Sunday morning to be remembered :)

Why Robert Kuok is more than just 'The Sugar King'

"I will only leave a legacy of precious teachings, but not wealth or fortune to my children. Our business empire can be sustained for many generations to come if they follow the precious teachings taught to them"

I usually take weeks or months sometimes not even finish reading a book, but this was definitely one of the most interesting book I've ever read. One thing I definitely could conclude was that Robert Kuok was definitely more than just 'The Sugar King', well to me atleast. I could not help but to share the good attributes that he has to everyone else cause everyone should try to imply the principles he has (although biased based only by this book) 

Here's a couple of quotes that I personally love, 

"We cannot take wealth into our graves. Leaving too much fortune behind will ruin our offspring instead of helping them. Having too much money is like having poison, and wouldn't that eventually damage their brains? But because of love, we must leave something for them, so that they will have the opportunity to rise"

"I have often said that there are two things we need to do when we are alive.  First, it is to work hard to raise the family and secondly, to help those who need help in their education. Only by doing this will society progress, become harmonious and stable" 

Although his mother was not educated much, she played a very important role in his life and successful path in pursuing his business, 

"The only advice my mother gave us walk the virtuous path and that we should not become materialistic as we made money"

And he tries to help others and the environment as when he can,

In 2012, Shangri-La stopped offering shark fin dishes. At the same time, the hotel also phased out bluefin tuna and Chilean sea bass. 

Although he is a Malaysian, he still had a soft heart for China since his parents were people of the Mainland China. His mission was to help develop China. 

The path for him might've seem easy in the public's eyes, but he actually went through some difficulties and hardships in building his first Shangri-La in Singapore. It was his first set up and in the first few months, he actually went through a huge loss. Beyond that, Robert Kuok had to find his way around the rigidity of China's investment system through connecting to the locals since China did not welcome foreign investors willingly, after their reformation.

Upon his perception towards progress in Malaysia,

"Kuok said that if Malaysia wanted to progress, the Malays would need to be more open-minded. He believed that education is crucial in determining a country's development, that the government shouldn't lower the standard of education but should instead address educational issues seriously"

Eventhough the sugar business might not be of a high profitability, Kuok quoted,

"Never be greedy because it is big, nor give up because it is small", which happens to be one of his business mantras. 

You would've expect that when it comes to friendships, he would pick friends that would benefit him. But he made friends who believed that would stay and has good attributes. When it comes to friendships, Kuok believed to "Make friends. But be able to distinguish the good and the bad"

The most important bit was when he shared the secrets of being a successful leader. Kuok believed that a successful leader would have to,

"Have a strong and highly efficient team of management talents and work closely with every level of subordinates. Be fair and honest. And to have a strong determination to strive"

There's so much more of his business attributes that many of us should practise in doing our own business but I guess the only way to find out is to read this book ! (it was actually sold out the first few weeks it was out which took me quite a struggle to grab it at some bookstores). All the quotes were extracted from the book of Robert Kuok by Kanyin Publications. Note that the story might be a bit draggy at the beginning but it gets really good after that. This blog post does not even do justice on how good the book is. 

21 : The Age of Discovering Yourself

Hi there !

Although I've only turned 21 only a few months ago, I feel like this phase has been going on awhile. I guess in your early 20s, you really decide who you are.

Its only natural, that you're in uni, whereby the decisions you make are based on your own perspectives, your own judgement and what you think is best for you. And it can get quite confusing at times since for some of us, most of the decisions we've been making for our lives has always been dependent on what our parents want for us.

For most of us, we tend to question even things as simple like, 'What do we like?' So if you ever feel like trying something different or out of ordinary, go ahead and try ! Get out of your comfort zone. Learn from experiences and stories from different people you meet (although you should experience with your own boundaries and limits preferably). But when people say you're only 21 and that you should live life, they meant it real ! Not only to party hard, get high and stuff. But to explore yourself, know what gives you adrenaline, what makes you happy, what you aspire to be. As selfish as it sounds, it's all gonna be about you, discovering you!

And it might not be as easy as it sounds sometimes. You might have times that some decisions are a bit difficult to be made. Like your heart tells you to do it but your mind tells you the other around. Just do what you feel is right, what feels like you, and you should be fine :) (Also never neglect your responsibilities whilst figuring out who you are hehehe)There will also be times that you have friends who come and go in life. And probably around this time of your life is when you'll know who are the friends who are most likely to stay. Just stay strong and know that you're not the only one going through this phase.

So don't beat yourself up too much, just take it slow. It's gonna be one hella roller coaster ride ! But, you'll pull through, just know that its only a phase, of growing up. Forgive yourself, forgive others, for the many mistakes that people make especially throughout this phase. And as cheesy as it sounds, its a phase of growing up to the adulthood, whether you like it or not ;)

The 3 Most Important Things To Hold By In Life

It's been about 2 weeks since I received one of the most important advice I've gotten from my boss while I was in my internship.

He told me, the three main things that you need to hold on to in everything you do is 'Perseverance', 'Trust' and 'Determination'. I've heard many successful stories of entrepreneur and leaders, but my boss wasn't kidding when he mentioned those three important words to hold on to. 

As I sat down for more than an hour listening to his advice, he gave a few examples of a few successful people in the world, but the one story that really caught my attention was how determined Vincent Tan was in his approach towards bringing McDonald's into Malaysia, how he wrote emails everyday for more than a year to McDonalds with his proposal and idea to them, back in the 1990s. 

"Only when there is perseverance can you achieve the impossible. Combined with determination, you'll get the focus you need to achieve what you really want. And gain trust. Getting others to trust your capabilities by proving yourself worth. But not only gain trust from others, but to yourself, believing that you'll pull through and you are capable of doing so."

So here's to being more determined, having more trust, and pulling through everything with more perseverance :)

Young Love

If you were to ask me, 'Do you love kids?', my answer would always be 'Depends'. Although I never knew why, but I was never fond of all the kids around me. Then a few nights ago at Kechara Soup Kitchen, I finally understood myself, why I've always said, 'Depends'.

It was when these kids surprised me by jumping on my back for a piggy back ride,  was when I knew why. That I've only loved kids who likes interacting with activities rather than what technology offers nowadays. It was a wonder to myself and many around, how I didn't mind that these kids from Chow Kit might be sick or not as clean. But they surprised me with the love they still have for people, that somehow it was alright to play with them, carefree.

"These kids have so much love for the people, even though the society might not have shown them much of it"

And they were just as happy (or maybe even happier) as how other 'wealthy' kids are, just that these kids were sharing the small toy cars and played it together.

I could say that all in one night, not only have I learnt that there was no boundaries to love, but that the littlest things can bring so much happiness in life. These kids have taught me so much and insyaAllah, I hope one day, I can give them the happiness they have given to me. 

Time,

"I wish to travel the world, to learn. I wish I spared more time for others, rather than myself. I wish I spent more time improving myself, increasing my skills. I wish I spent more time with my family and friends. Yet I wish I spent time working, to learn the value of money and live the reality. Yet life is so short and time is so limited. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way"

Is the law really providing justice ?

Throughout our tour in Cappadocia, I met this heartful & loving lady in her 20s who sort of changed my perspective towards prisoners or in general, the law & justice (not that I had the worst perspective towards prisoners before this but it got me to ponder on a few things)

As a law student, you've always been taught that the law is create to accommodate others in providing justice. It changes within time, and adapts to cases, according to the majority of the society. 

But this lady I met earlier; Paripersia (a Mexican-Iranian girl) quoted,

'If the law is meant to bring justice, then all the corrupted politicians (or even all the politicians) in the world would be in prison. And the prisoners, usually in desperation due to poverty or lack of justice, would not even have to be in prisons in the first place'

Most of us would have looked down to prisoners. Discriminate them. Isolate them. But have we ever stopped and ponder, are we not at least a little bit responsible for what happened to them? Isn't the government as well ?

Imagine, if we live in a community, that helped each other. That treats each other equally and with respect. If all the wealth was evenly distributed or at least the gap between the rich and the poor wouldn't be as big as how it is now. If corruption or any crime committed is made to be punished. If the law really provides justice. 

They say the law is created to protect people's rights. To give them safety. Doesn't matter if you are the majority or minority. But we often see the faults in law, in failure to protect the minority's rights. For instance, the French Law does not protect much of Muslims and their rights in wearing headscarves to school.

On the other hand, another fault in the law that I've come to realise as well is that it actually fails to protect the rights of the poor in the world, which holds the majority of the population. Atleast 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. How much of the law has been created to protect these people? To prevent them from breaking the laws in the future? To provide them justice? Should it even be considered as just that the poor is suffering too much while seeing the rich live their lives so easily, only to leave them with more hatred and jealousy?

I understand that some policies are made in order to encounter the problem of poverty, but as much of a role they are in the society, they are mainly guidelines. And equity can only help one so little. 

So the question that has been lingering in my mind is that,

'Is the law really providing justice? Have we been educated on the wrong understanding on what justice really is? Are we, ourselves, even being just to others ?'

'Whoa, how do you pack so light?'

I am quite a minimalist whenever I travel. Although I feel like I've packed a lot, m bag will somehow, always be light. Even I surprise my mum (sometimes even myself) on how light my bag is ! Its been quite an amount of times that when I travel with my friends with my luggage/backpack, they would always go like, 'Is that it?', 'What is inside it?', 'How do you pack so light?' or even, 'Is that enough?' 

So, here's a few tips on how to pack lightly (and maybe even look pretty decent at the same time!). Hope this helps :)

1. Always roll your clothes

Never have I been disappointed whenever I roll my clothes when I pack. They amazingly save a lot of space which leaves you with more space to pack in everything else ! 

2. The right tops 

My sister thinks I still dress up pretty decent although I backpack. And even though both of us carry 10 tops and 3 jeans, my bag still weighs lighter than hers. This tip only applies when you're travelling in sunny countries. Just pack, blouses ! They're amazingly light, dry easily when washed and makes you look pretty decent in pictures especially when you're taking those beautiful pictures. Beyond that, they're pretty cooling (so you'd probably sweat less). Although, try not to pack blouses or shirts that needs ironing. 

3. The right pants 

I usually bring along only 2 pair of jeans (which I would wear one when I go on my flights), 1 pair of leggings and 'beach pants'. If you have extra space, just throw in a couple of pants (or my trick would always be white pants), to look a bit more elegant-ish. They're really all you need ! You really don't need to bring tonnes of jeans or trousers.

4. Even for months or weeks of traveling only pack ...

Always pack minimally. Constantly remind yourself that the weight is going to be a burden whenever you have to carry your backpack around. For 3 weeks of backpacking, I only brought along 10 tops, 2 jeans, 1 pair of sports shoes (incase I randomly decide to go for a jog), a pair of sandals and slippers. You really don't need to pack tonnes of shoes, just pack the most comfortable pair of shoes !

5. If you're wearing hijab 

Definitely, bring a black scarf. Then throw in 2-3 of your favourite coloured scarfs, and maybe just 1-2 patterned ones incase you get bored of plain colours or randomly feel like dressing up a little. Try not to bring the thick ones :)

6. Laundry !

You really don't have to bring a proper laundry bag like the ones you use at home, all you really need is just another ordinary plastic bag. Also, try to bring a laundry detergent from home in a small bottle. But try not to bring the liquid detergent as it would be a bit of a hassle when you go through security or check in your bags. Always do your laundry whilst packing so you wouldn't have to pack a huge amount of clothes

7. Make up maybe ?

So sometimes us girls, wanna look good in close-up pictures, and sometimes we are just somehow rather attached to our make-up set.  All you really need is your basics so try not to waste space by packing more than your moisturizer, eyeliner, primer, foundation and powder :) 

8. Bring what you need, not what you want to 

Every time when we want to throw anything into our bags, we have to ask ourselves, do I really need it ? Is it really that necessary ? 

9. Repack your toiletries

Repacking your toiletries into the small travelling bottles saves up loads of space and will definitely make your bag wayyy lighter ! Try to buy the light and fast-drying travel towels as well as some accommodation won't provide you with towels (and some charges you extra)

10. Bringing an extra small bag

Make sure they're the fold-able and really light ones. Atleast you would have a small bag to walk around with once you've checked in your huge backpack/rucksack/luggage in your accommodation. 

If you follow this right, your bag should only weigh up to 10-12 kgs only. That's how heavy my bag usually weighs whenever I pack (even if it was for more than 2 weeks of travelling). Good luck !  

Gotta Love Being Single in my 20s

My close friends would know that I've never stayed single for more than a week max since I was 15. I have always been in relationships. Unsure if I am actually inlove with the idea of falling inlove, being in love or just loving the person himself. 

But its been 4 months atleast since I have been single and I am really loving it ! I even started wondering, 'Why have I been in relationships all this while?' (not to say I regret my past decisions or I'd change them)

You gotta just love,

1. The no more phone beeps !

Ahh, with the group whatsapp buzzing a lot nowadays, its pretty nice to just not have your phone beep. Its amazing how my phone beeps so little nowadays from personal whatsapps. It even got to an extent that when I got a personal whatsapp message, I was like 'WHOA, I haven't heard that for a long time!

2. The long walks alone with your thoughts :)

The serenity you get walking alone in the evenings with your thoughts is just mesmerizing. And the best part is, you won't be thinking of 'What you would do for him' or even like 'How much you love each other' and stuff. Your thoughts changes when you're not in a relationship. I think more about myself and the world nowadays, like 'What I can do to improve myself' and 'How can I help contribute to the world?' (well, sorta haha)

3. Being able to do anything you want, anytime 

No obligations at all ! If you feel like just going out randomly tonight, you'll be able to just jump off your feet and go out without thinking, 'If I should spend time with him' or even 'Would he be okay with it'. For me personally, it's the ability to just book a ticket and hop on a plane to travel anywhere I want to, anytime !

4. Building your own character

You make decisions for yourself, on your own grounds, not anyone else's. The things you choose to do is not because 'he likes doing it' or cause 'he thinks its cool'. You'll end up doing it cause, 'I'm just gonna do it just cause I feel like it'

5. Those hours of sleep

You'll be able to sleep for hours without any disturbance (not that sleeping for hours is that much good of a practice, but ya know what I mean). You wouldn't get random night phone calls or text messages obliging you to reply or be there for that particular person

6. Your energy, time and effort can be put into something so much more worth of doing !

The time you spent when you're in relationships, are an opportunity cost to other things you're capable of doing (talking like an economist) but yeah, seriously though. You could spend that time doing charity, giving your love to those who deprive it more. Spend your time with your family cause in the end of the day, they're all you've got

7. Not-Feeling-So-Pathetic-Anymore

'Oh, why isn't he replying me? Calling me? Or texting me?'. No matter how 'secure' you feel, it is inevitable for most of us to feel this way. Gotta love how my emotions doesn't revolve around another person's 

8. Thinking about these last few years

There's a high possibility you'll probably meet the love of your life, and settle down etc soon especially when you're in your 20s, without even trying. And you'd spend years and years of your life with your partner, possibly even 50 years ++ ! So just chill now in the single lane while you still can :) 

But..... if the 'right one comes, at the right time, I don't see a reason, why not?' Haha 

Mother's Love

The strongest spirits in the world lies within our own mothers. 

Since 2002, my mother discretely collected bits of her thoughts on how she felt since her mother passed away. And only after 8 years, did she decide to share it with us through her Facebook. Here's a repost from your page ma. As the world should know how beautiful and amazing a mother's love is. 

There is no bigger love than a mother's love. 

Just imagine from the day a mother finds out that she's carrying her child in her womb. How happy a mother feels, to know that she is carrying a child of her own. From that day, she knew that she will have to take good care of herself, as it is good for the child. Though sometimes she does not like to eat something, but she still had to do it, for her child.

On the day the you were born that is the most happiness day of her life. The minute she sees you, she drops tears of happiness without realizing it.

Many love comes and goes but not mother's love, even until the moment you have a family of your own. 

Mother's love is unconditional.

There is no end to it, until the day she closes her eyes forever.

She will do anything for her child from day 1 till the very end.

She hides her sad feelings and will always try to smile even in bad times.

Sometimes, when your mother is no longer in this world, then only would you realize that you really miss her and you really want her.

You will miss her so much.

Sometimes you want to tell or share your happy and sad moments. Those moments when you need a shoulder to cry on,  to tell something personal to someone, which sometimes you can't even tell it to your husband.

Sometimes when you want to tell about your child's achievement, you can't tell it to your friend or even to your sister, cause some may say that you're boasting about it, but if you tell it to your mother, she can share the joy n happiness. Oh god, how I wish she is still around. Love you always mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all :)

Written by:

Rogaya Ahmad

'All I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother'

I love you Ma. Never have I failed to shed a tear whenever I think of how amazing and blessed I am with your love. Ps, I sort of accidentally fell asleep right after you called me to wake up for Subuh to study this morning so am feeling super guilty. Hehehe. Love you ! 

Edited by : Eniza Ellias 

A Reminder ; From the Heart of Today for the Heart of Tomorrow

I cannot help but feel stupid.
That I live everyday forgetting how cruel the world is,
And that every second I chose to be ignorant,
Someone out there is suffering,
A child is possibly dying.

I feel so helpless,
That no matter how much I lend a helping hand,
It will seem as if its never enough,
It will never be enough.

That the many times I spent falling in love,
Could have been spent by loving others,
Who deprive for such love more,
Those who never felt as if they were loved before.

When I choose to go against my parents,
A child out there wishes,
That they were waking up to goodnight wishes,
From their parents that they wished they'd known who.

The stuff I buy,
The branded goods I get,
Only to impress this materialistic world,
Which I don't really need them,
To make me happy.

The times I spend with my peers,
Laughing and giggling around,
Criticizing other people,
When the people I should be criticizing is myself,
Am I a good person enough to be talking about other people's weaknesses ?

Open your eyes,
You're living such a comfortable life,
And your surroundings might look as great,
But these things you have and posses,
Are only to fool you.

Don't be foolish,
You keep on killing yourself with that over confident of yours,
That you're a good person, a great person,
That you're a strong person, possibly stronger than anyone else,
Just cause you thought you've been through alot in life,
When the real strong people,
Are the ones living out there, in the world of reality,
The world of poor and hunger.

I could have lived a life in modesty,
I could still choose to do so,
But dear heart of tomorrow,
That often forgets about compassion,
Please come back to your conscience,
And not to give into the thoughts and temptations of this cruel world.

Allah, give me strength and humility.
From wasting my time,
To do the right thing.

And this was definitely not part of my plan,

Hi and Salam guys,
This post is a bit personal and close to heart.
But I felt like I needed to write about it to clear some of your thoughts upon my recent event,
Of my decision in occasionally wearing and not wearing my scarf. 

It definitely came out of plan. I've never planned to be one of those girls who does the 'wear and not wear scarf situations'. And hopefully this has nothing to do with my believe and preach towards Allah has been decreasing although 'iman' is never constant; it often goes up and down like life itself. 

I've decided that under certain circumstances, I would choose not to wear my scarf. For instance, when I'm about to travel alone or go for adventures and things that would acquire it to be easier for me not to wear it so. It's definitely not due to peer pressure or trying to look attractive. Some things are just better off experienced without the scarf although I am up for the challenge to wear it still sometimes. It gets pretty hard to explain but I guess some things are better off explained through self experience [not like I'm encouraging you to open your scarf]. Heh.

But if I don't wear it all the time, then "What's the purpose of wearing it occasionally still sometimes? Might as well not wear it riight?"

I wear it as often as I can. I don't expect the whole society to accept me as who I am but 'People are going to judge you no matter what you do. So, might as well do as you wish or think whats best for you'. Just cause I do some sins still, doesn't mean I do not have the rights to wear my scarf still and be a proud muslim. Are you denying that you make sins as well and does that stops you from wearing your scarf? Beyond that, I do see myself permanently wearing it once I've started settling down after uni so this phase of life for me would most likely be temporary for just a couple of years. No worries, I still don't drink or suddenly do drugs. I still try my best to eat Halal food and pray 5 times a day. I still pray that my believe and strength towards practicing my religion would grow stronger. 

What about posting pictures with it ? 

I feel like sharing my experience with my friends, family and the public. And I have the rights to do so :) even my parents are cool with it so yeah 

Its definitely not something that I am completely proud off but it is definitely something I wanna do just for this couple of years till I properly settle down. Please note that this post is never intended to encourage any of you to not wear your hijab. It would be really great if your iman is strong enough or even stronger than mine to wear it all the time, despite any temptations 'dunya' has offered you. I do apologise for any misunderstandings and I do admit I do not represent myself as a good muslim but insyaAllah within time and prayers, I will be better. Salam. 

The Student Life You Want

Hey,
Here's a post that's a little bit personal.

As days go by in my first year in uni, I never still fail to ponder what kind of student life I want. What I want from my first year or throughout my university life.

The things I have been participating with recently have been intellectually engaging,
For instance the 'Teh Tarik Sessions with Prominent Speakers', 'Speaker Series', Projek Amanat Negara, London International Model United Nations etc. Name it, the moment you tell me there's such an event, I would just get on my feet and go for it.

But recent events have made me wonder,
You know how in university life people make friendships that will be everlasting memories ?
I'm starting to ponder if I am missing out on that, really badly.
And those just 'chill out' days,
As I spend my nights researching about current world issues,
Believing that I need and want to equip myself with such knowledge.

For instance, this weekend, its Derby Day !
Where Essex University plays against East Anglia University which is supposed to be one of the most fun days and night of the year. A couple of my friends will be competing then, which would be great to watch them play and we'll have a chilled out night later on.
On the other hand,
There'll be the Law Career Convention in London on that day itself as well. Which would be a great opportunity to mix around and build my career background.

But honestly I feel, the chilled uni life is only once in a lifetime. And you can take your whole life to build your career. Though at the same time, it's always good to build a great career background and network from now. Hmm.

In simple words, I am caught in between having the 'chilled back student life' or the 'career building/workaholic student life' and I couldn't wish it to be any more easier :)

10 Steps of Moving On :)

Hey girls (or possibly even guys) ! I know tumblr quotes might be cheesy , but they're quite handy if you could relate to them anyways so be aware that this post might contain many. 

Anyways, as we all know, moving on is the most difficult part of relationships or life as we know it. So here's a post on how I handle 'moving on' and so far has always been a success :

1) Let it out

Just cry it out ! Or shout ! Possibly even talk to someone about it. Make yourself feel better instead of keeping all your emotions in. But, never beat yourself up. Just bear in mind that the tears, the pain, is all temporary. Everybody moves on even though at that particular moment you feel like 'Its end of the world'

2) Think with your brains, not your emotions

Know that relationships in reality are trial and errors. You fall in love, and you try to work it out between the two of you, and if it doesn't work out, its simply just not meant to be. There is literally no point of beating yourself up and making yourself miserable over something that was not even destined to happen in the long run or part of your future. 

'This is all part of life'

3) Keep yourself occupied

Mentally or physically. Pronto !

4) Make yourself a better person, in order to find/deserve the better person

We would always feel as if we can't find someone better than the last person we were with. Then, do something about it ! Rather than just merely accepting that fact. Make yourself a better person, in order for you to find someone better. Someone who can make you as happy or happier :)

5) Focus on building your own character

One thing we all know is that being with someone for too long sometimes makes us lose our own character, our own personality. Because we spend too much time with that particular person. So, since you're finally available, you would have so much time to figure your own identity and build your own character !

6) Prevent yourself from being alone for too many times

Being alone too often makes one over thinks unnecessarily. But I don't literally mean occupy yourself with booze, parties and friends all the time since you've broken up (Well, you could do that if that works out for you. Hahaha). What I guess you should do as well is, consider doing good to others ! Doing good to others can surprisingly make you feel better. If not, be part of a student body or society. Think and do something progressive ! Possibly even something to do with starting up a business maybe ? Haha 

7) Never give up on yourself 

' She is unstoppable not because she is successful. But because she never stops picking herself up no matter how many times she's fallen' 

If you ever feel down again, and again, depressed or possibly upset, stop beating yourself up, and pick the pieces of yourself up again and again. Never give up. Remember, everybody goes through this. And you definitely can make it !

8) Know it yourself, you are going to be a stronger person !

Give a tap on your own shoulder for making it through so far. Moving on is difficult but you'll get through it. Everyone does. And you'll definitely be a stronger person from then on :)

9) Life is too short to be pondering about the past

You are not who you were yesterday. People change everyday, whether its a little or a lot. So whenever you think about the past, think back again about who you are today. You're definitely not the same person as who you were when you were with that particular someone. You're definitely a better and stronger person, so pondering and complaining about the past is just a waste of time !  Life is too short, look how many years have passed already in so little time. Go out ! Go for a jog ! Make yourself productive !

10) Take the good, leave the bad (Acceptance)

In everything there is good and bad. Just take the good, and leave the bad. Learn from your previous relationship and make your next one, a better one, and possibly everlasting. That person came into your life for multiple reasons, just accept the many reasons (good and bad), and think how it is going to be beneficial for your future !


In the end of the day, we are destined to be with that particular someone and there's just so many fishes in the sea, that probably we haven't met the right one, just yet :)