She's Finally Coming !

And, its official ! My mum's coming next year Spring for 2 months to the UK and she's probably gonna stay with me in my student accommodation. Pretty hard to believe eyy?

Yeah, I know. Most of you would think it's overwhelming. It's fine really. Most of the people I've told about my mum coming reacted the same way. I honestly just went like 'whoaaaa' really. Haha

My mum asked me though, 'Where am I going to say?'
And I didn't even hesitate to say, 'Stay with me !'

Then it came to me, like whoa, I'm gonna have parental guidance with me for 2 months in uni !
And she's gonna stay with me in my small single bed, sharing kitchen and toilets with 13 other of my flatmates ! That's pretty hard to take in ! Hahaha

Then it occurred to me, my mum's my girl bestfriend any girl could've asked for. She's always there. And I've had so many of my friends crashing in my room for the past year so I don't see a reason why not.

Plus, I wouldn't have to cook for 2 months ! And mum's finally getting the break of her life that she deserves ! Away from stress and commitments, just chilling in a different country over Spring, with no obligations (well, beyond cooking for me) hehehe

Well, I'm pretty excited now. It's something different which would be pretty cool :)

And my mum's a chilled mum so all is well ! It'll be a cool experience to have spontaneous travels with my mum around the UK as well anyways !

I guess a new experience awaits in a few months time, can't wait ! (a little mixed feelings now though haha)

And I definitely can't wait to see you soon ma :) *also to taste good home cooked food again* hehehehe

Hope Papa can make it here too ! *prays for papa to get more rezeki to come*

P/S - I might be a bit chubbier than you last saw me ma. But am working on that before you come and see me saying, 'Gemoknyaaaa anak mama sekarang!'

The Cookies, The Camera and My Adorable Mum

As you all would've known, that's my mum ! (and yes you can obviously see how 'obsessed' I am about my parents with the amount of posts I've dedicated to them hehehe). But this is kinda a different kind of post though. 

So, you know, I've stocked up pictures and took many shots of our cookies before I left to study back in the UK. 

And as you would've expected, I'm starting to run out of pictures and our cookies have been progressing that we needed new pictures to update our lovely customers ! 

Beyond that, mum had this great idea to put all 3 types of cookies into a gift box for people to give to others for birthdays, weddings etc which is super awesome ! And she passed me the pictures for me to edit.... (Note that my mum do take great pictures just maybe today was just not her day hehe, love you ma)

Anyways, she sent me a picture from inside the house, which I thought was taken at a great angle (speaking as if my photography skills are like a pro)... but the lighting was bad in the house

So, told mum, 'Maaaa, can you please take picture outside? The lighting is better outside'. Then she went like, 'Hujan la'. (Oh yes, I forgot that we were thousands of miles away from each other to know that KL was raining haha) But she still managed to take a few pictures at the patio, which had pretty decent lighting ! 

Not bad riight ? But I wanted to post a picture from a side angle, like how she took the picture on top (well, sorta). And I wasn't sure how to tell her the angle of the box that I wanted so I took a picture of a box that was in my room and asked her to take a shot with the same angle ....

My picture taken from my uni's room 

Mum's picture taken from home

(Haaah, can't see you the lengths we go through for product pictures ? Haha)

But this time, I was the 'dumb' one cause I forgot our box had a 'window'. So....

Me : Oh maaaa ! I forgot that our box had a 'window'. Can you please take a picture again but with the box standing ? Hehehe

Mum : EISHAAAAAAAAAA !

*although we were only whatsapping, I could imagine her shouting my name across our hallway at home already hahaha*

And yes, as you have guessed it right, my mum isn't a huge fan of doing this haha ! Which makes me appreciate more whenever she tries to do so for our cookies :) 

Oh, and it means a lot whenever she types more than her usual 'ok'. So, when mum types, 'Eishaaaaa', you know she really meant it well hahaha

But she still did it anyways.... 

Which was too senget for me to edit so yeahhh. I liked the angle from the first box, really. But I didn't want to kacau my mum with my perfectionist needs for a better picture so I found a way around things...

I whatsapped my brother asking for his help to take more pictures of the box with the cookies and soon-to-be-bought ribbons ! Hahaha. Thanks abang for volunteering to help take pictures from home :) I bet you enjoyed hearing how me and mama were trying to figure the pictures out hehe

Anyways, let's just maybe finish this post off with my mum's pictures which were pretty legit ! 

Our cookies at Meteora Cafe, Subang Jaya

But I guess yesterday was just not her 'good photography day'. You know, like 'bad hair day', 'bad hijab day' and stuff. Hehehe. 

Sorry ma, just had to write this post of our rather 'cute' experience as a memory for both of us to always remember. Hehehe. Love you ma :) 

Cheers to my adorable mum and our many attempts (and still counting) ! *giggles*

INTERVENTION

Aite guys, after contemplating for many months and procrastinating, I've decided that I shall go through an INTERVENTION !

No, I don't intend to change my wardrobe completely or change my personality as a whole and stuff. But its time ! That I'm 21 now and that I should try to be more 'on point' in life, perfecting what I can with no frets :)

But let's be honest, I should probably start with looking less selekeh when I go out to class first haha. Although, I will still go by my own principle on not wearing make up everyday to class to feel more secure or better off with myself. Not like I have anything against make ups but I just am trying not to depend on it to make myself feel good about myself. Oh ! And I still do enjoy my travels with a backpack rather than having a luggage just to carry more than one pair of shoes or too many clothes unnecessarily.

Well, I still haven't yet figured out completely on how much am I planning or willing to go through for this 'intervention' cause I'm pretty sure I still have my lazy days (which makes me wonder if celebrities or 'famous people' ever get lazy to dress up at all haha).

And I guess I'm not just referring to emphasizing more on appearances, but generally just 'embracing the good and leaving the bad' which has to start mostly with reducing the amount of 'lazy days' I excuse myself with weekly, and being more productive ! (Like jog more, read more, educate myself more and stuff...haha)

Okay, I think that's it, really. Less talk, more action ;)

A Beautiful Sunday Morning

Its rare that you get a sunny day in the UK especially when its approaching winter. But it was definitely a beautiful sunny Sunday ! I usually don't post much about how my day went but I guess its not such a bad idea once in a while ? :)

Anyways, the Malaysian Society organized a Traditional Games Day Out. The guys were playing galah panjang and baling selipar (although failed many times due to the utter windy weather!) and the girls as usual, ended up playing with the the Post Graduates' kids !

And I found the kid I loved layaning the most, Akhta ! He was going all imaginary with the creative games he invented just for us to play with which I find it to be super adorable. I just love kids who use their creativity to play games outside and interact rather than play their iPads in the sun.... hmmm. 

Anyways, they were selling roti jala and nasi lemak which were all so sedaaaaap! The wind actually smelled like Malaysia again hehehe. Then we took some good shots under the sun. Just had to post this picture with my Subang babe, Farah, since '09 though :)

It was definitely one of the best Sunday mornings I've ever had since I've been here. A Sunday morning to be remembered :)

The Skinny Bakers : My Mum, The COO

Many of us would decide to start a business with either their friend or partner or some random investor. Well, atleast that was how it nearly went for me as well. But things took a turn. Rather than going around finding for someone who I can 'trust' and would work as hard, possibly even harder than me, my mum was right there in front of me this whole time !

I couldn't have imagined growing this empire with anyone else than my mum. My mum is super hard working, definitely more hard working than me, and is very experienced in doing business. She's been my strongest motivation my whole life, that I'd do anything for her. In business terms, I'd do anything to make this business a success for and with my mum. And insyaAllah growing it to become our next empire ! Beyond that, she loves doing business and practically has been doing it her whole life ! I told her that I wouldn't want to be part of the business not learning anything so she would have to tell me every single step of the way on how the business grows, although I'm far away.

So here's how things work between me and my mum. We both need each other to make this cookie business into our next empire.
I got the recipe a few years ago and my mum got it from me over Summer. I work on the tech side of things, such as photography, social media, sticker designs, website etc. Its also cause I'm far away from home so yeah. And mum now handles the production at home ! (Yes, here's the answer to many of you who has been questioning me who has been doing the production of cookies since I've been away).

While I was in KL, I would approach cafes with our cookies, proposing our cookies to be placed at their cafes. Even when I was occupied by my internship, I'd go to cafes after working hours. And on the weekends, I'd go to cafes with my mum.

Since I've been away pursuing my degree here in the UK, mum has taken over that part and has been approaching places beyond expectation. Alhamdulillah, we've been getting orders for weddings and birthdays since we started, only a few months ago ! Our cookies are now available at Petron Manjalara and Petron Bandar Utama. Not to forget, we've placed our cookies at some event organizers office as well !

With the pace of how things have been growing great for us, it looks like I've got to save more money to have more capital in order to achieve our goals for this cookie empire !
But what are our long term plans for the cookies? Hmmm, It's still a secret. Hehehe. Till next time !

Why Robert Kuok is more than just 'The Sugar King'

"I will only leave a legacy of precious teachings, but not wealth or fortune to my children. Our business empire can be sustained for many generations to come if they follow the precious teachings taught to them"

I usually take weeks or months sometimes not even finish reading a book, but this was definitely one of the most interesting book I've ever read. One thing I definitely could conclude was that Robert Kuok was definitely more than just 'The Sugar King', well to me atleast. I could not help but to share the good attributes that he has to everyone else cause everyone should try to imply the principles he has (although biased based only by this book) 

Here's a couple of quotes that I personally love, 

"We cannot take wealth into our graves. Leaving too much fortune behind will ruin our offspring instead of helping them. Having too much money is like having poison, and wouldn't that eventually damage their brains? But because of love, we must leave something for them, so that they will have the opportunity to rise"

"I have often said that there are two things we need to do when we are alive.  First, it is to work hard to raise the family and secondly, to help those who need help in their education. Only by doing this will society progress, become harmonious and stable" 

Although his mother was not educated much, she played a very important role in his life and successful path in pursuing his business, 

"The only advice my mother gave us walk the virtuous path and that we should not become materialistic as we made money"

And he tries to help others and the environment as when he can,

In 2012, Shangri-La stopped offering shark fin dishes. At the same time, the hotel also phased out bluefin tuna and Chilean sea bass. 

Although he is a Malaysian, he still had a soft heart for China since his parents were people of the Mainland China. His mission was to help develop China. 

The path for him might've seem easy in the public's eyes, but he actually went through some difficulties and hardships in building his first Shangri-La in Singapore. It was his first set up and in the first few months, he actually went through a huge loss. Beyond that, Robert Kuok had to find his way around the rigidity of China's investment system through connecting to the locals since China did not welcome foreign investors willingly, after their reformation.

Upon his perception towards progress in Malaysia,

"Kuok said that if Malaysia wanted to progress, the Malays would need to be more open-minded. He believed that education is crucial in determining a country's development, that the government shouldn't lower the standard of education but should instead address educational issues seriously"

Eventhough the sugar business might not be of a high profitability, Kuok quoted,

"Never be greedy because it is big, nor give up because it is small", which happens to be one of his business mantras. 

You would've expect that when it comes to friendships, he would pick friends that would benefit him. But he made friends who believed that would stay and has good attributes. When it comes to friendships, Kuok believed to "Make friends. But be able to distinguish the good and the bad"

The most important bit was when he shared the secrets of being a successful leader. Kuok believed that a successful leader would have to,

"Have a strong and highly efficient team of management talents and work closely with every level of subordinates. Be fair and honest. And to have a strong determination to strive"

There's so much more of his business attributes that many of us should practise in doing our own business but I guess the only way to find out is to read this book ! (it was actually sold out the first few weeks it was out which took me quite a struggle to grab it at some bookstores). All the quotes were extracted from the book of Robert Kuok by Kanyin Publications. Note that the story might be a bit draggy at the beginning but it gets really good after that. This blog post does not even do justice on how good the book is. 

Discovering Turkey in 10 days : Cappadocia

Day 4

If there was any place in the world that I would visit again, it would definitely be Cappadocia. It's such a unique place and definitely one of the places in the world you would have to visit. 

We took an overnight bus, roughly about 8 hours ride from Istanbul. It was not the best of bus rides but it was alright ! 

We took the 'Metro' Bus which is known for its good services and affordable price. Arrived in Goreme early in the morning at about 6-7 AM, and we had to switch into a van in order to get to our accommodation (Note : There are not supposed to be extra charges for this). 

We decided to stay in a cave ! Yes, at Cappadocia you can opt to stay caves ! 

Although I was all prepared to sleep on the floor like real cavemen, we got a pretty decent cave ! Hahaha I'm just kidding, I don't think they would or do provide such accommodations but it would've been cool if they did though. So we checked out the packages offered to us, like if we should check out the hot air balloons, or the whole area and trek around and stuff. But me and my sister decided to go for what we enjoy most, horseriding !

We were told that the horse ride would only be available during sunsets and it seemed to have fit our schedule perfectly fine. Since we had a few hours before the sunset horse ride, we decided to go for the Cave Museum and find out more about the History of Cappadocia

You'd probably want to bring food where ever you go in Cappadocia. Its not that much of a 'commercial' area so food is not as easy to get unless you don't mind spending on the small shops by the road which would cost you so much more. 

We then headed for the sunset horse ride and it was such a great experience ! Probably not that advisable for first time horse riders but the experience was definitely priceless. We stopped halfway our journey up which took us about an hour on the horse, enjoyed the sunset at a pit stop, then continued our way down before it got too dark :)

The next day, we went for the blue and green tour which took us almost the whole day. 

The tour was great ! We had a really passionate and enthusiastic tour guide and a great group of tourists. He told us on how Cappadocia was influenced by the many religion that has been growing here which I thought was pretty awesome to know about.  

Check out the paintings on the walls which has been existing here since hundreds of years ago. Pretty cool eyy? They were left untouched 

At the end of the tour, we were given the choice to order some Turkish food and I chose Beef Casserole. It was part of the package we paid for which was totally worth it !

And so when the tour was over, me and my sister waited to catch our next bus around midnight, to Konya ! Will be updating you guys next time ;)

21 : The Age of Discovering Yourself

Hi there !

Although I've only turned 21 only a few months ago, I feel like this phase has been going on awhile. I guess in your early 20s, you really decide who you are.

Its only natural, that you're in uni, whereby the decisions you make are based on your own perspectives, your own judgement and what you think is best for you. And it can get quite confusing at times since for some of us, most of the decisions we've been making for our lives has always been dependent on what our parents want for us.

For most of us, we tend to question even things as simple like, 'What do we like?' So if you ever feel like trying something different or out of ordinary, go ahead and try ! Get out of your comfort zone. Learn from experiences and stories from different people you meet (although you should experience with your own boundaries and limits preferably). But when people say you're only 21 and that you should live life, they meant it real ! Not only to party hard, get high and stuff. But to explore yourself, know what gives you adrenaline, what makes you happy, what you aspire to be. As selfish as it sounds, it's all gonna be about you, discovering you!

And it might not be as easy as it sounds sometimes. You might have times that some decisions are a bit difficult to be made. Like your heart tells you to do it but your mind tells you the other around. Just do what you feel is right, what feels like you, and you should be fine :) (Also never neglect your responsibilities whilst figuring out who you are hehehe)There will also be times that you have friends who come and go in life. And probably around this time of your life is when you'll know who are the friends who are most likely to stay. Just stay strong and know that you're not the only one going through this phase.

So don't beat yourself up too much, just take it slow. It's gonna be one hella roller coaster ride ! But, you'll pull through, just know that its only a phase, of growing up. Forgive yourself, forgive others, for the many mistakes that people make especially throughout this phase. And as cheesy as it sounds, its a phase of growing up to the adulthood, whether you like it or not ;)

Discovering Turkey in 10 days : Istanbul

Hi there ! I hope its not too late, and its only been about 2-3 months since I went backpacking with my sister in Turkey, but here it goes, discovering Turkey in 10 days ! (And if you're interested to know a bit of how Turkey was conquered from previously being known as Constantinople, do try to watch the movie Fetih 1453 ;a really good movie that's also available on YouTube)

Oh, before I forget, I couldn't write this post whilst I was travelling since I was interrogated for being a potential part of ISIS two times while I was travelling. Was playing safe on not writing much during the trip.

Day 1
Anyways, we arrived at the airport and took the train to central (Note that the train might not be as spacious for people travelling with huge luggage). Checked in our accommodation and went for our first meal, as expected, it was Kebab ! Haha.

We didn't do much on the first day. We walked around nearby places and discovered that Galata Tower was only about 10-15 minutes walk from our accommodation ! There were lots of people chilling there and basking, but the queue to go up Galata Tower was a bit too long so me and my sister decided to just chill at a nearby cafe for some Turkish Coffee. 

Well, technically, I was the one who enjoyed the coffee. My sister probably enjoyed sleeping more hehe. 

We walked a bit more to check out Iktilal Street (aka Independence Avenue) to find out there was so many people in one street ! Apparently, it can reach up to 3 million people along the street over the weekends, like whoaaaaa .

There were kids basking by the street, who were pretty awesome at the instruments they play

We came across a shop named 'Patatos' selling really good Kumpir ! Kumpir is sort of like mashed potato in thick cheese served with mushrooms, salads, beans or anything you'd like, and seriously sedap gila (translated: deliciousssss !). 

Day 2
Yes, it's the day we do all those touristy things !
And I've sort of arranged the places we visited according to my personal favourite, which was definitely starting with Haghia Sophia. I just love the history behind this place. How this place played an important role on Turkey's ruling.

1. Haghia Sophia

2. Topkapi Palace

3. White Mosque / Beyazit Mosque 

4. Suleymaniye Mosque

We used public transports throughout since Taxi Drivers here are known for charging tourists with higher prices. And the public transportation was quite cheap ! Just be careful of your belongings, and don't walk into dodgy areas. Don't try to help people who suddenly drop their things while walking cause they might be tricking you into pick pocketing you. Easy to say, just be really aware of your surroundings :)

Day 3 

And we discovered Bosphorus River on our 3rd day in beautiful Istanbul !

We tried out the most delicious and fresh Fish Sandwich ever / Balik Ekmek ! You can get them at the fish markets near the bridges in Istanbul, it was definitely worth it ! I didn't even have to add any sauce to make it taste better. 

Took the Taxi Boat instead of the Bosphorus Tour to discover the European Side of Turkey since the Tour was waaaay expensive. It was definitely way cheaper and the view from the boat, was priceless :)

We didn't do much on our 3rd day since we had to leave to the bus station for our trip to Cappadocia, stay tuned ! 

The 3 Most Important Things To Hold By In Life

It's been about 2 weeks since I received one of the most important advice I've gotten from my boss while I was in my internship.

He told me, the three main things that you need to hold on to in everything you do is 'Perseverance', 'Trust' and 'Determination'. I've heard many successful stories of entrepreneur and leaders, but my boss wasn't kidding when he mentioned those three important words to hold on to. 

As I sat down for more than an hour listening to his advice, he gave a few examples of a few successful people in the world, but the one story that really caught my attention was how determined Vincent Tan was in his approach towards bringing McDonald's into Malaysia, how he wrote emails everyday for more than a year to McDonalds with his proposal and idea to them, back in the 1990s. 

"Only when there is perseverance can you achieve the impossible. Combined with determination, you'll get the focus you need to achieve what you really want. And gain trust. Getting others to trust your capabilities by proving yourself worth. But not only gain trust from others, but to yourself, believing that you'll pull through and you are capable of doing so."

So here's to being more determined, having more trust, and pulling through everything with more perseverance :)

It's Not Just Another Internship

Some people might say, you'll have your whole life to work. Once you start working, you can never stop. The time will come. What do you even want from an internship anyways? They don't really pay you that well anyways. On the other hand, there'll be those people who are just naturally workaholic. Some might be doing internships just to boost their CVs. Well, everyone has their own reasons in making their own choice, either to do or not to do an internship.

My decision to proceed with an internship for 6 weeks wasn't planned months ago, it came along the way throughout my Summer holidays. It was when my cousin convinced me into applying at ZulRafique & Partners. Alhamdulillah, being accepted as an intern there, I could say, it's one of the best decisions I've made in my life (well, so far hehe). But why so ?

Beyond networking, you'll get great advice from others who has been in the legal field for a way longer time. Partners, legal associates or even the other chambies would probably give you a heads up on what you should expect in your career, what you should do to make yourself more prepared into the working life, and the most important part, is when they tell you the things they wished they had done or did not do to get them to how they are today. These advice that they give might be considered as a 'shortcut' to success in life or a 'cheat' for those who implement them I guess ;)

Then, the working life experience comes. You usually would get real working life experience if you've interned for a month at least. The longer the time of your intern, the more colleagues/seniors would be able to give more work to you, the more they trust you and the cycle of getting more work continues ! Beyond that, working 9-5 everyday isn't as easy as it seems; or as 'okay' as to many. It took me a week to get used to the idea that my life was going to be behind a computer from 9.30-6.30PM for 5 days a week. Not just that, there were times that I even had to come back from the office around midnight and miss a couple of lunch (not that I'm complaining) but that's the reality, work life is tough. Your 'movements' are somehow rather limited as well and you won't get as much freedom as you might have had in your uni years. You'll actually get the struggle how other people strive to make money for their living everyday.

Besides that, you'd probably enjoy the extra income (provided that the firm pays you for your internship!). You'd also most likely get a clearer view of what you'd want to expect out of yourself and how you'd aspire to be like in a few years time. You might enjoy studying the subject, but you might not enjoy the job scope of it, or using it in practice. Well, an internship is kinda the right time to find out ! Either if you prefer to use the knowledge and skills acquired from your degree into your working life. 

And after all that, you'll have a great time ! (Well, at least I did). Every experience is valuable hence, I don't see a harm as to, what not give it a try ? What is there to lose? Why not ? :)

Young Love

If you were to ask me, 'Do you love kids?', my answer would always be 'Depends'. Although I never knew why, but I was never fond of all the kids around me. Then a few nights ago at Kechara Soup Kitchen, I finally understood myself, why I've always said, 'Depends'.

It was when these kids surprised me by jumping on my back for a piggy back ride,  was when I knew why. That I've only loved kids who likes interacting with activities rather than what technology offers nowadays. It was a wonder to myself and many around, how I didn't mind that these kids from Chow Kit might be sick or not as clean. But they surprised me with the love they still have for people, that somehow it was alright to play with them, carefree.

"These kids have so much love for the people, even though the society might not have shown them much of it"

And they were just as happy (or maybe even happier) as how other 'wealthy' kids are, just that these kids were sharing the small toy cars and played it together.

I could say that all in one night, not only have I learnt that there was no boundaries to love, but that the littlest things can bring so much happiness in life. These kids have taught me so much and insyaAllah, I hope one day, I can give them the happiness they have given to me. 

Part 1 : The Skinny Bakers

My first attempt on starting a baking business started off when I was 12. Typically, it was during the Eid celebration and it was the season for biscuits 'kuih'. I sold a few pineapple tarts with my mum and gained about RM 200. Then, my pursue in my baking business stopped as I was busy pursuing other interests throughout highschool.

Only a few years ago (3 years ago to be exact), I started baking again. And it was for my friends and family. I never baked for myself, really. But surprisingly, the best 'turn-outs' for the many recipes I've tried are usually the ones based on what other people requests of me to bake for them. But the one recipe that really stayed was our 'Chocolate Chip Cookies' that some people would even say, that it tastes better than 'Famous Amous' !

Then it begins ! I started baking for my sister who was pregnant with our first niece when she craved for freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Next thing you know, I started baking for my niece, nephews and even my own friends requested for orders. But I was still busy catching up with my A-Levels, so introducing the cookies into the main market was never part of the plan (especially since I was preparing to study abroad)

A year passed by and I've completed my 1st Year of my LLB Law studies, came back for my Raya Holidays and my family requested for the cookies again ! Even after a year away from home and baking, I came back with people still requesting for the cookies, especially my lovely niece and nephew. My mum started learning how to bake the cookies from me, since I was to go back to UK and continue pursuing my studies (at least ada la for someone to bake the cookies whilst I was away). And next thing you know, BAM ! The idea to start a business just came with the flow (Also due to much encouragement from others, which are most definitely much appreciated).  Our motives & plans for the future of the business you may ask ? We'll definitely keep you posted in the future blog posts. 

So, here it goes. To the first 3 weeks of pursuing our business, 'The Skinny Bakers'. With everything going well so far (alhamdulillah), much gratitude goes to those who have been supporting us from the very beginning. Cheers !

The Fault of the Youth

The least we or anyone can and should do is to stand up and actually tell ourselves that we are responsible for the society we live in today and the future generation. To live with our mistakes and correct it rather than blaming 'anyone else' (or the usual, other political bodies). Rather than being keyboard warriors behind the desks at home, we should be real activists and standing up for what we say or our opinions on social media. Volunteering in NGOs and supporting events or movements towards a better cause. I believe the youth has so much energy and spirit in them but it has been misdirected nowadays. The focus of the current generation has been too much on impressing each other materialistically, or even as simple as through social media. We spend the energy and drive on 'popularity' or the amount of 'likes' we get on each picture. Doing really cool and creative videos only to get that special attention when such energy and creativity could have been put into good purposes. We are capable of so much more than that. Than what the world expects of us. Imagine if things were done differently. The world could have been a better place. The change has to start from us, from the youth.

Reciting the Quran

Most muslims usually learn to recite the Quran at a very young age, which is good really, since it's easier for us to learn and remember when we were younger. However, some of us tend to not read it as often at a certain phase of our own lives. For instance, when you're busy catching up with coccuricular activities in high school, assignments in college or even catching up with your own friends in university. Basically, most of us tend to have our own phase whereby we tend to prioritize everything else and abide our obligations in reciting the Quran, which is normal. People just get busy chasing their goals sometimes, although we try to balance our current life and after life ambitions.

Anyways, the problem is that in this phase of life, most of us get a little rusty on reciting the Quran. We miss out on the little things that is important in reciting the Quran like the 'hums' and 'tajwids'. Then when we start to grab hold of the Quran and start reciting it often again, we think we're doing it right.

For me personally, I learnt to recite the Quran when I was 5 years old roughly. And I managed to finish it when I was about 12, in a way, 'khatam'. Throughout high school, I did not really spend as much time reading the Quran. Gotta admit, my recitation got a bit rusty. When I was about 17 years old, I started to read it again. Alone, in my room, usually after prayers after roughly 4-5 years of reciting the Quran during 'festive' season or whenever necessary. I've definitely lost my touch.
However today, I decided to tag along with my mum to her 'Quran Recitation Classes', or in a way 'Tadarus'. And I stuttered on a few words.Then I realised, I really need to start reciting with guidance again. So many Arabic words I've pronounced wrong. I needed to stop thinking I was good enough to read by myself, that I needed a teacher.

It came across my mind, that so many of us might be doing the same mistake out there. There's so many of us who suddenly decides to start reciting the Quran often again, thinking we've got it, but we actually lost our touch.

It occured to me that, we need to put our ego and over-confidence down. Language is not that easily remembered if not practised. That we need a teacher to be really fluent and pronounce this beautiful Arabic language properly. Its okay to learn again even if it means from scratch, rather than to continue reciting the Holy Book wrongly. Doesn't matter how old you are, or how many years it's been since you've last read it, it's always good to learn or atleast have someone to guide & teach you. And it's definitely not about how fast you've read it, or how many times you've finished reciting it (khatam), but the concern should be more on the quality of your reading and what you understand about this significant Holy Book that is supposed to guide you in your life-making decisions :)

Fear of Falling in Love,

"I fear of falling in love. No, the heart ache if it doesn't work out does not fear me. People will always get hurt, doesn't matter if you're in or not in a relationship. I fear that when I fall inlove, I would lose myself. My own identity. What defines me. I fear that I place my time and effort too much on that one person when I could've spared my love for others who deprive of love more. I fear that when I fall inlove, I would fall out of my family and friends. I fear that I might actually be more inlove with the idea of being in a relationship rather than loving the person for who he is. Worst of all, I fear that in the end of the day, I won't even be able to define what love is"

Confessions of a Hijabi

We try to make it seem easy, but its not as easy as it looks. Wearing the headscarf means you come with the responsibility to show that Muslims are good, as most people meet Muslims first before they meet Islam.

People criticize and scrutinize us, but they forget that we are still, only human. We still have the same temptations and desires as anyone else does. And our temptations differ, like anyone else. Some of us might have temptation to get out of our comfort zone. Whereas there are some of us, who sometimes wanna keep up with what's in trend or what the world calls fashion. Although we know that some of these things are wrong, but like anyone else, we still give up to temptations. We still make mistakes. People say that we live in a liberated society, that our scarves or the way we wear our clothes, are not to be accepted as a practice within the community. But liberation can only mean so little if it does not make a person feel free from social conventions, especially with regard to sexual roles. And when people argue that we lack freedom of rights, the only freedom of rights that we do not have is to be judged by the society. So yes, please stop scrutinizing and bashing us on your social media networks.

Then there are times that they say we are terrorists, but the only terrorist out there are the ones killing others. Do we look like terrorist to you? Are we even carrying guns? Or maybe the reason we seem like terrorists to you, is because you fear the truth, that our religion is the religion of the truth. And no, we do not support those who kill others under the name of 'Islam'. In fact, we despise them. Islam is a religion of peace, although by some others, the obligations written are 'misunderstood' or 'misinterpreted'.

On the other hand, some of us like the challenge, especially myself. Waking up everyday, telling yourself, you've got to prove yourself that you are . To prove the world that although you're a Muslim woman with a headscarf, you are still educated and intellectual. Most people in the world underestimate us, thinking that women in Islam does not have rights to education are shallow enough. And nevertheless, we can still be adventurous and athletic still ! A scarf on a head doesn't change our decision making or make us less capable then anyone else. That we can still be as 'successful'. We are actually proud of our scarves, never embarrassed.

Also, sometimes we have good hair days that once in a while, the demon in us whispers to just wave it out in the air, be 'free'. But we constantly remind ourselves, on how liberated we feel wearing our scarves out, so we decide to wear them everyday anyways, although some of us still follow the temptations to open up once in a while. And no, that does not mean that our 'iman' or believe towards the Al-Mighty has decreased even a little. Beyond that, we also have bad hijab days like anyone else has bad hair days !

And no, we do not expect your pity. We expect to be treated like anyone else. With respect. Like how we are supposed to respect each others' different decisions living in a diverse community. Although it's nice sometimes to be rewarded, like how some of our friends and relatives buy us those beautiful scarves showing us their endless support. But we do not want that 'special attention' or to be treated differently. For most of us, the only reward we really expect is from the 'after-life' and that this life, that we regard as a test, will be more blessed by the Al-Mighty.

We never really mind anyone asking us about our scarves. As for most us, we made the decision to wear it by ourselves, and we aren't forced to. It is an obligation by our religion that we love most, that we feel and know is perfect. We feel protected and liberated wearing our scarf, and as women, it'd be kinda nice for us to let you know how it feels to be safe. Beyond that, the moment we put our headscarves on, we know that the society will judge us by our character and personality, rather than how we look, which is only with us temporarily. So if you're ever curious on how it feels like to go by a day atleast with a head scarf on, we would be more than happy and willing to put on the head scarf for you, even if it means using our own headscarves. We really do feel secure that when a man looks at us, he does not stare at us with the 'rape' look.

All in all, no matter what we do or how we wear it, we know by heart, that in the end of the day, we want to try wear the scarf perfectly, cover ourselves perfectly. And we will always pray and try, every day, to make ourselves better Muslims, better believers, to the one and only, the Al-Mighty. Together, insyaAllah.

Upon Selfishness

"I believe the longer we look at ourselves in the mirror, the more selfish we are prone to be. The more selfies we take, the more we would be 'full of ourselves'. The more we talk about ourselves, the more we are too self-orientated. But don't get me wrong, there are certain benefits in all this. It's just I fear that one day, the society we live in, would care way too much for themselves that they care too little for others. Would pressure themselves to keep up with the materialistic world rather than living the real world. Would help others only with intentions that they would be able to look better for themselves rather than to make others live a better life. I am afraid that the future of our society, would be filled with more selfish people rather than selfless, for the good"

Time,

"I wish to travel the world, to learn. I wish I spared more time for others, rather than myself. I wish I spent more time improving myself, increasing my skills. I wish I spent more time with my family and friends. Yet I wish I spent time working, to learn the value of money and live the reality. Yet life is so short and time is so limited. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way"

First Night of Ramadhan in Konya, Turkey

It's the first time for me to have experienced first night of Ramadhan far away from home and the whole family.

So me and my sister decided to check out what is the usual Ramadhan activity here in Konya, Turkey but it was definitely a more confused experience than we expected.

We passed by the Selimiye Mosque before the Isha' prayers and saw lots of carpets 'sejadah' spreaded on the ground outside the mosque and we were like, 'Whoa, the Muslims here really go for terawih prayers'. Locals who saw us as tourists then told us, there was a famous dance (The Mevlana Whirling Dervishes) being performed in the gardens of the Mevlana museum every Thursday night, which is only less than a kilometer walk, so we thought why not?

As we arrived, we saw the dancers sitting on the floor, waiting. So me and my sister thought they were waiting for the Isha' Prayers Calling, to perform their Isha' prayers, then only perform their dance, which we thought was part of their culture. As how Malaysia had Zapin as a culture of a dance to be performed after prayers many many years ago.

At about 10PM when Isha' prayers are being called upon, the dance started with loud music, simultaneously. We were stunned. I was disappointed and frustrated, I could feel my heart pounding, wanting to cry. Thoughts in my head were running like, "Ya Allah, it's the first night of Ramadhan. It's near a mosque. Adhan is being recited. Why wouldn't these people wait for the Adhan to finish atleast?"

We watched the dance for a few minutes. You would be able to watch it on YouTube as well if you want to, I reckon. The dancers were spinning for ages which was pretty impressive, but I guess we were too stunned to enjoy it as much. The dance seemed more as a ritual to us rather than culture. We didn't know exactly what the dance really meant to them, but we felt uncomfortable enough to leave early. Beyond that, it was getting late just for the two of us to wander around so we decided to head back, not intending to be disrespectful. For Malaysians, this was quite similar to the 'kuda kepang' dance to us as they were reciting sentences from the Quran before they started their Mevlana Whirling Dervishes.

Anyways, on our way back, we passed by the mosque again, and Alhamdulillah, our hearts were touched and we were amazed by the amount of people praying the terawih prayers in this month of Ramadhan, especially the first night. The men and women were even praying outside the mosque ! We sat down for a couple of minutes to enjoy the scene of the prayers, and left not long later.

It was a very confusing experience for us especially coming from quite a conservative country. But that's what you gotta expect out of travelling I guess, to learn and see what other cultures have got to offer you. It was definitely an experience to be remembered.