A Reminder ; From the Heart of Today for the Heart of Tomorrow

I cannot help but feel stupid.
That I live everyday forgetting how cruel the world is,
And that every second I chose to be ignorant,
Someone out there is suffering,
A child is possibly dying.

I feel so helpless,
That no matter how much I lend a helping hand,
It will seem as if its never enough,
It will never be enough.

That the many times I spent falling in love,
Could have been spent by loving others,
Who deprive for such love more,
Those who never felt as if they were loved before.

When I choose to go against my parents,
A child out there wishes,
That they were waking up to goodnight wishes,
From their parents that they wished they'd known who.

The stuff I buy,
The branded goods I get,
Only to impress this materialistic world,
Which I don't really need them,
To make me happy.

The times I spend with my peers,
Laughing and giggling around,
Criticizing other people,
When the people I should be criticizing is myself,
Am I a good person enough to be talking about other people's weaknesses ?

Open your eyes,
You're living such a comfortable life,
And your surroundings might look as great,
But these things you have and posses,
Are only to fool you.

Don't be foolish,
You keep on killing yourself with that over confident of yours,
That you're a good person, a great person,
That you're a strong person, possibly stronger than anyone else,
Just cause you thought you've been through alot in life,
When the real strong people,
Are the ones living out there, in the world of reality,
The world of poor and hunger.

I could have lived a life in modesty,
I could still choose to do so,
But dear heart of tomorrow,
That often forgets about compassion,
Please come back to your conscience,
And not to give into the thoughts and temptations of this cruel world.

Allah, give me strength and humility.
From wasting my time,
To do the right thing.

And this was definitely not part of my plan,

Hi and Salam guys,
This post is a bit personal and close to heart.
But I felt like I needed to write about it to clear some of your thoughts upon my recent event,
Of my decision in occasionally wearing and not wearing my scarf. 

It definitely came out of plan. I've never planned to be one of those girls who does the 'wear and not wear scarf situations'. And hopefully this has nothing to do with my believe and preach towards Allah has been decreasing although 'iman' is never constant; it often goes up and down like life itself. 

I've decided that under certain circumstances, I would choose not to wear my scarf. For instance, when I'm about to travel alone or go for adventures and things that would acquire it to be easier for me not to wear it so. It's definitely not due to peer pressure or trying to look attractive. Some things are just better off experienced without the scarf although I am up for the challenge to wear it still sometimes. It gets pretty hard to explain but I guess some things are better off explained through self experience [not like I'm encouraging you to open your scarf]. Heh.

But if I don't wear it all the time, then "What's the purpose of wearing it occasionally still sometimes? Might as well not wear it riight?"

I wear it as often as I can. I don't expect the whole society to accept me as who I am but 'People are going to judge you no matter what you do. So, might as well do as you wish or think whats best for you'. Just cause I do some sins still, doesn't mean I do not have the rights to wear my scarf still and be a proud muslim. Are you denying that you make sins as well and does that stops you from wearing your scarf? Beyond that, I do see myself permanently wearing it once I've started settling down after uni so this phase of life for me would most likely be temporary for just a couple of years. No worries, I still don't drink or suddenly do drugs. I still try my best to eat Halal food and pray 5 times a day. I still pray that my believe and strength towards practicing my religion would grow stronger. 

What about posting pictures with it ? 

I feel like sharing my experience with my friends, family and the public. And I have the rights to do so :) even my parents are cool with it so yeah 

Its definitely not something that I am completely proud off but it is definitely something I wanna do just for this couple of years till I properly settle down. Please note that this post is never intended to encourage any of you to not wear your hijab. It would be really great if your iman is strong enough or even stronger than mine to wear it all the time, despite any temptations 'dunya' has offered you. I do apologise for any misunderstandings and I do admit I do not represent myself as a good muslim but insyaAllah within time and prayers, I will be better. Salam. 

Why did I travel alone ?

So recently I've been asked many times ,

Why did I travel alone ? And why was it Macedonia, Serbia, and Kosovo to even start with ? 

Honestly guys, 

I think it's more of my personality and the way I enjoy my travelling. It's never to try to impress anyone or rather just something I wanna tick off my bucketlist. 

I am genuinely a person who likes my own space and loves spontaneous adventures. I definitely enjoy meeting new people in strange new places. I believe the people I meet along the way & their stories makes my life more interesting. I quite like planning where to go a day before or at that moment itself sometimes, which most of the time, can only be done when you're travelling alone :) [Not to say I've never had a planned holiday]

First off, "Why did you go alone? "

I like being with my own thoughts at times. And I believe the way I travel can not be adapted to how most of my friends enjoy their travelling. They say "People who you're friends with aren't necessarily the same type of people you would enjoy to travel with". And as for most girls who like to over plan their travelling, I enjoy pretty much just going with the flow. On the other hand, most guys stereo-typically think that when they travel with girls, there's just too many limitations. Well, it doesn't really apply to every girl does it ? Especially girls who are independent and can take care of themselves. And instead of waiting for everyone else, why not just go by yourself and meet interesting people along the way ? :)

They say, "I mean like, I'm not trying to be a sexist but, you're a girl, is it safe?" 

How often do you guys here girls getting kidnapped or raped just simply by travelling alone ? I'm not saying that it is highly unlikely but girls most likely get sexually abused by going to clubs rather than travelling alone. And there are ways to travel safe in order to prevent the worst case scenario. Beyond my interest in living life at the edge, life can never be too safe, as it won't be considered living at all to even begin with :) Just be street smart and very aware of your surroundings ! Always try to move in groups.

Then, people were like, "Why Serbia, Kosovo and Macedonia?"

Frankly, I was just grabbing tickets online back and forth from Malaysia for my brother's wedding and was supposed to just transit a couple of hours at Serbia. Then my parents whom are avidly into travelling, pitched me the idea to transit a couple of days if possible, even if it was gonna cost a bit more. Called up the agency, paid in a couple of pounds extra and next thing you know, I was on my first solo backpacking trip around the Balkans ! My dad told me to just go Serbia but I knew I wanted to see more parts of the Balkans. So, I proposed to him the idea of where I wanted to go and stay with the hostels and he was like 'Yeah, okay. Just be safe. There might be problems with immigration a bit there though'. It was initially supposed to be just Serbia and Kosovo but Macedonia came out spontaneously the morning I was in Prishtina, Kosovo when I met a couple who was going down to Macedonia. Beyond that, I love history and these places have so much knowledge of history for me to learn from ! It's good to travel to such countries anyways. Reminds you a little bit about the reality of the world, that not every country is as fortunate [especially studying in the UK] & you'll pretty much appreciate what your surroundings more. 

Then they go like, "Oh, you're crazy ! They're war torn countries ! And you're a Muslim, wouldn't you get discriminated?"

Heck yeah I was discriminated. I tried wearing my scarf walking around Nis and taxis stopped only to give me rude nods, leaving me to walk around under the rain alone. Took off my scarf and next thing you know, taxis were even honking asking if I wanted a ride. I genuinely am not that strict on my scarf either; as in I just try to wear it as often as I can but I'm at the phase where I wanna do things beyond limitations such as travelling alone in these sorta countries. Beyond that, I am definitely a proud muslim by heart. 

Food was also very difficult for me to find. I took up the challenge of trying to eat vegetarian for a couple of days since Halal food was nearly as impossible to get, and it was not as easy as it seemed. Lost 2kgs throughout the trip ! And there were even days that I only ate a 'Filet O Fish' Burger. 

Yeah, they're a war torn country. So there are certain topics you would have to avoid talking about to the locals. But beyond that, they were very nice and friendly !

"Do you think everyone should have their own experience of solo travelling?"

Well, not necessarily. Never force yourself to do something you wouldn't enjoy, especially if it's gonna cost you a lot. Although getting out of your comfort zone is good once in a while, some people just don't like the idea of being alone or even just travelling alone. So chill guys, you don't really have to :) Only do it if you know you'll enjoy it and if it's an experience you'll know its worth a lifetime ! Even if its just a one time thing

So, "Are you going to travel alone again anytime soon?"

Heck yeah, I might do it again soon ! I gotta love the vibes and adventure of travelling alone. I do wish to try couch surfing and hitch hiking soon though so that I reckon would not be as safe to do it alone. Although, I am very tempted to just go for it. Guess we'll just have to wait and find out don't we ? 

Will be writing a post on my personal tips on 'Backpacking for Dummies like Me' and 'Tips to Travelling alone' !

Skopje, Macedonia

Took the bus from Prishtina to Skopje for about 5 hours for about 5Euros only. Had to change buses halfway before getting into the immigration.

Couldn't resist to take a shot with the mountains from Albania whilst changing buses ! 

Arrived in Skopje and just one word that describes this place,

Monuments ! 

Hahaha. I'm not kidding man. There's pretty much monuments everywhere here and most of them are new, roughly since 2013. You wouldn't even wanna stop for every monument just to take picture of each one of them cause there's just too many !

The city center looks so beautiful riight ? Wait, lemme show you more parts of it 

Don't be fooled guys. Here's when the reality kicks in. Just a step out of the center,

And you'll realise how bad the economy is off the country. Beggars were on every street. Even when I was eating in a restaurant, a kid was knocking from the window outside asking for money. Like whoaa. And when I asked around, most of them would say "It's the Albanian Muslims. They're very poor here in Macedonia" . I even saw a kid pushing his other sick friend on a wheelchair. Hmm. Couldn't take a lot of pictures out of the center since it was advisable not to hold anything in your hand due to pick pockets etc. 

Anyways, came here with a couple I met from the hostel I stayed in Prishtina. 

Agata from Poland

And her soulmate, Kledi from Albania

It was definitely easier to travel with them since Kledi could speak the mother tongue here just with a different dialect. They've been travelling around Europe together meeting random people along the trip that they always invite to tag along especially if they're solo travellers like myself ! They thought I was 17 though. Haha. 

Walk a little bit outside of the center and you will come across alleys selling random stuff from Silver to Turkish rugs ! There's also lots of pubs and cafes for you to chill and try out some Macedonian Coffee. Apparently according to Agata, it tastes pretty much like Turkish & Serbian Coffee.

Agata and Kledi's staying over a night here but I had to take an overnight bus back to Serbia and catch my flight the next morning from Belgrade. Took a bus at about 8.30 PM and arrived in Belgrade at about 4 AM. The 8 hours bus ride was definitely the last thing I was pumped up for throughout this trip. Haha. Was called at the immigration though, between Macedonia and Serbia as they asked, 'What are you doing from Serbia to Kosovo to Macedonia and back to Serbia'. Luckily that was just it. I've heard of really bad cases about people getting stuck at the immigration around this area, and they were held for bout 5-6 hours. Danggg. 

One of the most epic part of the trips I gotta say was when I took a cab to the bus station. The cab driver was quite an elderly man so English was definitely not his niche. I just said 'BUS' in hoping that the most simple way to give him the message that I wanna go to the bus station would be a success. Apparently not. He gave me a pen and paper and I thought, 'Even if I write out BUS he wouldn't still get me'. So, I drew a bus instead and he was like, 'Ooooh ,bush !' HAHA. It didn't matter to me how he pronounced it but all I wanted was just to get to the bus station so never doubt the power of a pen and paper ! And your skills in drawing although I felt like I drew really badly. Hahaha.

Oh ! Btw, they use Macedonian Denar here so you would have to change currency. And before you leave Macedonia, make sure you change back your Macedonian Currency as most parts of the world would not change to their currency, not even Serbia. 

Note that Macedonia is not really a safe country as compared to other European or Balkan countries cause the population of the poor here is relatively higher. So, be aware of the things you have and your surroundings. Make sure cab drivers aren't gonna cheat you by charging you extra !